I thought long and hard about writing this and sharing this with you, but I need to share something because I can with the benefit of hindsight – and this goes out to all my fellow entrepreneurial mums and dads out there that are suffering from the most pointless of emotions. That’s guilt, and that’s guilt at not being the perfect working parent or guilt at being the perfect working person, because you trying to be a parent too. Guilt is the most pointless of all emotions – unless it is something that is going to amend your behaviour moving forward. So guilt in terms of parenting is completely kind of useless and I know so many people are so torn.
I had a friend of mine recently who was an entrepreneurial kind of convention with me – and she had to leave early to go home to see her daughter. She was very upset because she was absolutely loving what she was doing, but equally felt torn that she was away from her family. It’s incredibly difficult for us to try and balance the two – between our responsibilities at home and wanting to pursue our entrepreneurial adventure. But other than the reminder that your entrepreneurial adventure is probably putting food on the table, that’s a pretty key part for you to remember.
But the reality is that I need to tell you that kids don’t mind – they don’t mind that you’re not present for everything. You end up fostering far more independent children if you’re not constantly there to do the nose wiping and the kissing of the bruised knees. I can talk with the benefit of the hindsight because mine are 24 and 22 now, and yes I have bought up very very independent children. But they are happy and functional and well-balanced, well-adjusted individuals and I would not wholly present 24-7 for the 20 years when I was bringing them up – it just wasn’t possible when I was running my own business.
So I know that there’s plenty millennial now that looks at the juggling that they’ve seen their parents do in the past and have chosen decisively not to try and do this kind of work, home balancing, because it’s so stressful and so nearly impossible. But with the benefit of hindsight I know that everything turned out okay in the end – the kids don’t mind if you’re not wholly present – when they do want you to be wholly present is the time when you do get home, so put your phones away keep the TV off, speak over dinner and be holy involved in the weekend. But the rest of the time they do just fine because you’re working don’t feel guilty about it – the kids will be just fine.
Take Care